promissio

i don't understand this world,
i don't understand my own religion or the old,
i don't understand the people,
i don't understand myself, i`m lost, i`m a cripple.

everything i did,
everything i do,
every day and every second,
it doesn't seem to matter, its untied already, become a loose bond.

i feel like i`m drowning,
i want to feel alive and go down kicking,
but i`m exhausted, i fear i have lost my hold,
i`m sinking into myself, unable to be bold.

i fear i will loose this battle,
i fear i wont be strong and i will whittle,
grab a shovel and dig my grave,
i wont survive for long, not after scars that come wave after wave.

death is inevitable they always say,
and scared, people have died every which way,
but death is a sweet release,
life a barren land of hurt and full of unfulfilled promise.