angry i am

finally its hit me,
the reality that eludes me,
the pain that i hid in me,
finally its out, burning a hole inside me.

the pictures and voices,
dreams and hopes,
the betrayal and lies,
wash over my thoughts.

the tears aside,
with the pain beside,
rises a howl of anger,
eating my soul, a death bringer.

angry i am,
for the pain is still the same,
people tell me time heals,
but they dont know how this feels.

and time is cruel,
for it i`m just a mule,
to carry with me all this fuel,
afraid every day that i might just burst and burn everbody who thought i was a fool.

angry i am,
for the betrayal and lies,
i thought it would change, i thought i would be the same,
but i am different and bitter,
and i can feel the slow burning amber.

no i tell my brain,
stop my thoughts,
i need restrain,
but it never stops, me my own enemy, i have no more hopes.

angry i am,
for i was a fool,
i was just a tool,
but still i hung on,
a slave of the cruel.

so never again,
shall i trust someone with my pain,
never again,
will my love be simple and plain,
never again,
will i devote myself,
never again,
will i be the fool who thinks of others but not himself.