i just got up.. its cold here now.. was like an oven earlier this week.. this truly is maldives.. bigger and better..

Whats that inevitable sentence that everyone has to say eventually?? Yeah, "I give up". Thats a big a problem in my life, I dont give up.. i should give up, i know i should, i know thats the rational thing to do but still.. no its not like its a pride thing.. well you could say it is.. a little.. but ive seen things happen in my life, seen lives ruined and ppl hurt because ppl gave up or moved on... i never thought id be in this situation though... oh the dreams we young ppl have.. when we are young.. the world seems bigger when you are young but things kind of jump forward then and there like at the end of the roller coaster ride where you yell out in suprise or fear, your hearpounding in your chest, your eyes open wide, gripping to the seat so tightly that your knuckles go white.. with a smile on your face but sad at the same time because you know that the ride is going to be over soon and reality is gona meet us at the platform...

we have so many things decided for us even before we are a mere idea, the wish full thinking of a young couple on their honeymoon... they give us names and jobs and looks and anything else they can think of.. i can understand that.. a parent is always a parent.. but when you grow old i cant understand the human need to impose on onto the other... the need to manipulate.. well i guess i cant say i dont understand it... i have done it.. but i always thought we grow out of it.. the petty way that we get what we want from others... women specially.. in a week three women tried that one me... if i were younger i would have fallen for it.. well 2 out of 3 isnt too bad right?..